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The Pie Hurled Round the World

words © copyright 1998 Holly Tannen

The copyright holders of "Ghost Riders in the Sky" have denied me permission to use their beautiful tune. This probably applies to you too, so I suggest you sing it to some other good tune, such as "Pachelbel's Canon."

Bill Gates got on his private plane one wet Seattle day
He landed safe in Brussels, seven thousand miles away
But there among the Belgian crowd that stood politely by
He didn't see us watching him, nor hear our gleeful cry:
Anarchists with a pie!
We hurried down a narrow lane to a patisserie
"We need two dozen cream pies, we're bulimics on a spree!"
"That comes to nineteen hundred francs," the baker loudly cried.
"Just put it on our Mastercharge !" we carelessly replied.
Our hearts were full of fire, our cakes were full of cream
To pie the rulers of the world had been our lifelong dream
We tiptoed past his bodyguards and then we all let fly
And four of us we got him in the kisser with a pie!
His hair was white with curdled cream, his glasses were a mess
"It wasn't very tasty" he informed the waiting press.
We knew that you were geeky, Bill, we figured you were mean
But we welcomed you to Belgium; now you've slandered our cuisine.
The pompous and the arrogant we gleefully attack
We have a list of folks we think deserve a tasty snack!
There's Bush the father, Bush the son, and it's our cherished hope
To fill up condoms full of cream and drop them on the Pope.
So come all ye lofty CEO's wherever you may be
I'd have you pay attention to Noel Godin and me
You'd better treat your workers right, for if you get us vexed
We'll track you down around the world and buddy, you'll be next!

Note: Belgian anarchist Noel Godin and his compatriots refer to themselves as "les Gloupiers." They dance in circles and cry "gloup, gloup, gloup!" after a successful coup de g‰teau.

Gloupier resources online

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Michael Potts, webster updated 26 February 2002 : 15:29 Caspar (Pacific) time

copyright © 2002 by Holly Tannen